How to let go of expectations

We all hold expectations, it’s inevitable. Throughout my life, my expectations often hindered me from living authentically. I anticipated specific results and behaviors from others. Our unique values, approaches, and life experiences influence us, but that doesn’t mean everyone should follow the same path. What exactly are expectations, and what influences their formation?

You might have arrived here expecting to discover how to release expectations, possibly envisioning an outcome already. It’s clear how swiftly we generate expectations.

Expectations are our desires about how things should unfold in the future, often involving situations, people, or ourselves. While we may not have control over them, we attempt to manage outcomes through our expectations. Our desire to reduce uncertainty leads us to form expectations, foreseeing what might occur. However, when reality deviates from our expectations, it can lead to feelings of disappointment, sadness, or anger. This may also hinder us from embracing countless opportunities that await us.

Our expectations are influenced by our past experiences. Whether positive or negative, our previous encounters shape how we anticipate similar situations or relationships to unfold. Our bodies have absorbed past experiences, learned from them, and now our actions are guided by those learnings. This leads to triggered emotions and a continuation of expected outcomes.

Some may wonder: When starting a new relationship, should I hold onto my expectations? Is it beneficial to have expectations at all? There’s a distinction to consider. Your values represent what truly matters to you and what you require in a relationship, which is essential. It’s about understanding yourself and your desires. On the other hand, expectations pertain to the other person. Expecting them to act or be a certain way sets up an unrealistic standard. It’s an attempt to control both the outcome and the individual. While it’s okay to express your needs and desires, it’s important not to expect anything from someone else.

There is a distinction between expectations and goals. While having goals is beneficial, it is essential not to let them become expectations. Goals are objectives that require effort and dedication. They represent a journey where actions are taken to achieve them. Unlike expectations, goals provide flexibility and require proactive steps.

What happens when we release our expectations? By doing so, we invite numerous new opportunities, things we may have never considered before. The world is full of exploration and experiences, with countless discoveries and various approaches to tasks. There is a wealth of knowledge to gain from both others and ourselves, along with the chance to meet new people and try new things. Embracing this mindset opens up a whole new world of possibilities for you. Letting go of expectations and embracing the endless possibilities out there leads to tremendous growth. How incredible is that?

To release our expectations, the first step is to learn how to relax. By being relaxed, we become more aware of our expectations and can reflect on them. Letting go of expectations is closely tied to being in a relaxed state of mind.

1. Learn to relax

Entering a deep state of relaxation enhances your awareness. By being still, you create space for reflection and can observe your expectations. When consumed by stress and busyness, there is no room for introspection and change. However, by slowing down, reconnecting with yourself and your body, you gain the clarity to perceive your surroundings more clearly.

2. Become aware and reflect

After you have relaxed, focus on recognizing your expectations. Reflect on why you felt a certain way. Determine the origins of those feelings. Were they based on expectations? If yes, what type of expectations were they? Explore the reasons behind your expectations by jotting them down and keeping a journal.

3. Finding the root cause

Now that you are familiar with them, it’s important to identify the root cause of your expectations. By pinpointing the root cause, we can acknowledge it and move forward. This method ensures a lasting release of expectations. Reflect on the experiences that influenced your expectations and recognize the emotions they evoke.

4. Find balance

Achieving balance is key. It’s not about perfection or eliminating expectations entirely. Life has its highs and lows. Through learning and growth, we evolve into a better version of ourselves. By slowing down, you can heighten awareness of your expectations. When they surface, take a moment to reflect and release them.